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TANKRED HAS AN ANNOUNCEMENT.
BJORN WILL BE STAYING WITH TANKRED ON THIS EQUINE WORLD FOR AWHILE.
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TANKRED’S MIGHTY RETURN. OR, TANKRED’S NEW PAL.
In the middle of the hot Equestrian desert two mighty Dreadnoughts stood posed against one another. The familiar black walking sarcophagus known as Tankred, and another unknown red one. If there were any Equine creatures nearby they would surely be in for the battle of the ages. Two mighty war machines posed agaisnt once another. Tankred wielding his Assault Cannon and Power-fist, the other equiped with an Assault Cannon of it’s own alongisde a Dreadnought Lighting-claw.
The red one speaks! “TANKRED! YOU ARE A HERETIC, YOU SHALL BE DESTROYED.”
“WHO THE HELL ARE YOU?!” Tankred does not seem amused, though he never does.
“I AM BJORN.”
“THE FEL-HANDED?”
“NO, FUCK THAT NAME. DO NOT CALL ME BY THAT FUCKING NAME.” Bjorn as well, seems less then amused.
“WHY ARE YOU RED?”
“I HAVE ALWAYS BEEN RED, DO NOT QUESTION THE PAINT SCHEME.”
“AREN’T YOU SUPPOSED TO BE A SPACE WOL-“
“SHUT UP YOU FUCKING LOUDMOUTH.”
“YOU DO NOT COMMAND TANKRED!”
This carries on for about seven more minutes before FINALLY one of them makes a move. The move maker in question is Tankred.
“TANKRED HAS HAD ENOUGH OF THIS! YOU SHALL DIE BEFORE TANKRED’S MIGHT!” At this Tankred lets loose a barage from his Assault cannon.
Bjorn seems mostly unphased by the puny bullets. “YOU SHITSTAIN I’M MADE OF ADAMANTIUM, YOU CAN’T DO SHIT TO ME WITH THAT!”
“SILENCE! TANKRED DESTROYS!!”
At that call, as soon as “Tankred Destroys” was uttered, there is a sound. The sound of angry vox-caster shouting.
From the sky.
“NO! TANKRED ENDURES!” Suddenly, a second Tankred can be seen flying down from the sky, not in a drop-pod as one would expect, but on a surf-board. “GET OFF OF TANKRED’S PONY-PLANET DONOVAN!”
The first Tankred, now revealed to not be Tankred at all, dramatically looks up into the sky at Tankred. Really it is not very dramatic seeing as he is a Dreadnought and it is damn hard for a Dreadnought to do anything other then punching dramatically. “OH SHI-“
Tankred leaps off of his surf-board, pulling his mighty fist back and preparing to throw the mightiest punch Equestria has ever seen. “TANKRED! PUUNCHHH!” For a moment one could swear Tankred’s entire powerfist was engulfed in a flaming double-headed eagle, but that would be nonsense. As his fist makes contact with Donovan sand is thrown up hundreds of feet all around, the sheer force making the sand itself jump in surprise and arousal.
Bjorn stands there, his mind trying to wrap itself around what the fuck just happened.
As the sand, and dust for some reason, settles. A single Tankred is left standing, the other completely gone. It belows out a mighty “TANKRED ENDURES!” all is set right.
Bjorn however is not as content with this outcome as Tankred. “WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED? WHO WAS THAT? WHY WERE THERE TWO OF YOU? WHAT THE SHIT HAPPENED TO THE OTHER ONE?!”
Tankred turns to face the for-some-reason-red Bjorn, noting a Blood Ravens insignia on him. “TANKRED DISCOVERED THAT THE CHAOS DREADNOUGHT DONOVAN HAD BEEN IMPERSONATING TANKRED. TANKRED RUSHED BACK AND PUNCHED DONOVAN BACK INTO THE WARP.”
Bjorn takes a moment to process this. “OH, THEN i SUPPOSE YOU ARE NOT A HERETIC.”
“NO”
The two continue to stand there in the desert for some time. Neither quite sure what to do next.
-
TANKRED AND SOME BUDDIES.
CHILLING.
TANKRED IS STILL ON VACATION.
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CURRENTLY ON VACATION!
WILL RETURN!
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queenfrau asked: *Comes upon the endured, but still alive immobile body of TANKRED* HAH! Take that, you metal box!
TANKRED IS NEVER DEFEATED!
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TANKRED ENDURES!
*MIGHTY TANKRED manages to scoot his way back to his secret hideout on his one leg Celestia left him, submitting himself to repair by his techmarines.
TANKRED
ENDURES*
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askstarbuck asked: You dead?
TANKRED ENDURES!
*TANKRED’S Enduring will be explained shortly.*
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*Spitfire, behind everything now, struggles to stand, and fails, coughing blood.*
*Hiding in a tree*
Please don’t let him see me please don’t let him see me…
*Sees Spitfire bleeding on the ground*
…Oh ‘Tiadammit I’m going to regret this. *Drops out of the tree and starts running over to Spitfire*
*Celestia walks up to Tankred in powerful strides. Spreading her wings as a show of her powerful stature.* If you endure, then you shall live with the memory of your defeat here. *She begins to tear one of his legs off with her power.*
*The leg comes off and TANKRED hits the ground.*
THIS CANNOT BE! TANKRED ENDURES! TANKRED DESTROYS!
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*TANKRED Immediately throws a massive Powerfist punch at Celestia.*
TANKREDS POWERFIST IS THE POWERFIST THAT WILL PIERCE THE HEAVENS!
*Celestia throws a gold-gilded hoof in a counter-punch of sorts against Tankreds powerfist.*
You cannot hope to best me monster.
*As TANKRED’S MIGHTY POWERFIST collides with Celestia’s hoof Tankreds entire arm explodes.*
WHAT IS THIS SORCERY?! TANKRED IS INVINCIBLE!
*Immediately she sets her horn ablaze and slams Tankred into the ground, then begins to pry his assault cannon from his torso.*
Feel the fury of a god!
*TANKREDS MIGHTY ASSAULT CANNON is torn off from his sarcophagus, he attempts to stand back up.*
TANKRED!
ENDURES!
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*TANKRED Immediately throws a massive Powerfist punch at Celestia.*
TANKREDS POWERFIST IS THE POWERFIST THAT WILL PIERCE THE HEAVENS!
*Celestia throws a gold-gilded hoof in a counter-punch of sorts against Tankreds powerfist.*
You cannot hope to best me monster.
*As TANKRED’S MIGHTY POWERFIST collides with Celestia’s hoof Tankreds entire arm explodes.*
WHAT IS THIS SORCERY?! TANKRED IS INVINCIBLE!
